One year ago today, I was sitting at home, scared, anxious, depressed, and unemployed.

At the beginning of April 2020 I, along with hundreds at my organization and thousands across America, was furloughed.

A year ago, I was probably sitting on my patio on a lawn chair (because I hadn’t bought patio furniture yet), wondering how I was going to pay my bills, still in shock about the furlough situation and unsure about the state of the world. They had told us it could be three months before we got called back. I had just bought a house – how were we going to make ends meet?

I spent the first month crying and worrying, busying myself with unpacking and getting the new house together, and obsessively searching for freelance contracts to help tide us over in the meantime.

I accepted a couple of small contracts in April, and then landed a large contract that made me cry tears of joy. Things started looking up.

By the time May came around, I was getting used to being home. I started to embrace the time I’d been given (for the first time ever) to just enjoy life. I spent hours reading and writing, sitting on my patio and bird watching, and giving myself time to breathe.

By June, I’d thrown myself into the freelance-at-home lifestyle. I’d gotten a true taste of the life I’ve always dreamed about, creating my own schedule each day on my own time, completing work for clients, writing… I had a lifestyle I designed. I could so easily picture how my life would be if I was a full-time freelancer because I’d been living it for two months. I wasn’t balancing a full-time job or other responsibilities (since everything was shut down and we couldn’t leave the house). I was just doing my thing. It was magical.

Honestly, it was hard to go back.

Obviously I was so thankful to return to work, and knew and appreciated how lucky I was considering the thousands that didn’t get to. But I’d had a real taste of my dreams becoming a reality. And I wanted more.

It’s crazy to think about what life was like last year at this time. Businesses shut down, exponential unemployment, the inability to see friends and family, people sick and dying.

But for me, it was also a blessing in disguise. And it gave me the inspiration and motivation to keep building my business. To work hard, crack down, build my book, and write like there was no tomorrow. Because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, and now that I had that taste, I wanted it more than ever.

Last week I wrote about balancing building a business and life, and asked if it was possible to keep living and also build a successful business. I still don’t know the answer. But today, as I sit on my patio, watching the birds, reminiscing on and writing about the past year, I’ve found a newly renewed motivation to keep going.

And I encourage everyone else reading this, whether you’re in the same place as me or you’re miles down the road, to keep going. This year has been hard, but I hope you’ve had time to find yourself, find a new love or passion, grow personally or professionally, read, learn, and do something you enjoy.

Keep doing it. Keep going. Build your lifestyle. Find your passion. And once that happens, don’t let it go.